Managing an Eviction with a Child

Eviction is stressful, but with a child, the pressure ramps up.

Eviction can be stressful for any adult, but when you're a parent, it's even more challenging. Especially if you have children who depend on you to take care of them. As much as we may want to shut down and stop caring about anything else in the world besides our child (and sometimes our own basic well-being), it's important that we also take steps to maintain a sense of calmness—both for ourselves and our kids' sake.

The first step towards maintaining this level of calm? Keep your routine as stable as possible. This means going about your usual day-to-day activities with the same amount of consistency as always: eating meals at the same times; getting up when your alarm goes off; taking showers at similar times every morning or evening; etcetera. Keeping these habits consistent will help create peace within yourself so that even though things are difficult out there in the big wide world outside, inside your home remains safe and secure for everyone involved (including pets!).

Your attitude is more important than your situation.

It's easy to feel like the situation is your fault. After all, you are the adult who signed the lease and moved into the apartment. You're responsible for paying rent on time (and even if you aren't, it's still ultimately your responsibility). It's also easy to feel like it has something to do with your child—because after all, they are living in this apartment as well. And if it wasn't for them being there, none of this would have happened! But here's a secret: It doesn't matter who was at fault or what caused this eviction notice in the first place; what matters now is how each person involved handles themselves throughout this process and how they act towards one another during such an emotionally taxing time.*

• Note: The author uses "you" instead of "I," because she believes that if she were going through an eviction herself at the time of writing (as opposed to just researching), then she would have more empathy for others facing similar circumstances

Help your child feel secure by taking time to just be together.

It's normal for children to feel anxious and scared when their family is going through an eviction. You can help your child feel secure by taking time to just be together.

If you have been focused on the eviction process, now is a good time to take a break from that and enjoy some quality time with your child. If you both need it, get away from the house for a few days so that you can relax together.

Talking about issues with children is an important way of helping them understand what's happening in their lives, as well as how they might cope with things in the future. Talk about the eviction process and how everyone feels about it; ask if there are any questions or concerns they have about living in this new home; talk about the future—what do they think life will be like? What do they want out of life? How does having a new house affect their goals? Ask them questions too—ask them what they're up to at school, who their friends are (if any), what sports teams they like watching on TV or playing themselves... anything really! It may seem trivial but it shows that you care enough to hear all about their lives!

Take care of yourself so you have the emotional energy to take care of your child.

You may be tempted to just "move on" and not deal with the emotional stress of an eviction. But if you don't take care of yourself first, you won’t have the energy or mental clarity necessary to help your child through what is likely a very stressful time in their life as well. It's important that you find ways to relax and unwind—do whatever makes that happen for you!

It's also important that you spend time with your child during this very difficult time. You could plan something fun like going out together, playing board games at home, or taking a walk together through their favorite park (if safe). They need someone who can listen and talk about how they feel; let them know it's okay for them to cry or get angry about what might happen next. And remember: everyone grieves differently; there's no one right way for kids (or adults) to handle loss!

Seek support from friends and family.

As hard as it can be to admit, you will be better able to manage your eviction with a child if you have the support of friends and family. Your friends and family can help you see the bigger picture by helping you understand that your child will thrive despite this temporary setback in his/her life. They can also help keep your perspective because they're not going through what you are, which means they won't have as much empathy for what's going on in your head.

Keep your child's schedule as normal as possible.

The best thing you can do for your child is to try to keep his or her routine as normal as possible. If you are able and willing, try to maintain the schedule that you had before the eviction. This might mean getting up earlier than usual to get breakfast ready and making sure your child gets dressed and off to school on time, even if it means going without sleep yourself for a few days.

Your child may not be able to understand what's happening in all of its complexity at first, so don't worry about explaining everything that's happening with the eviction process. However, do explain that someone else will be living with them from now on and make sure they know that their living situation will change only until their family finds another place they can afford.

Avoid self-blame. The best thing you can do is move forward with a better strategy.

Try not to blame yourself or the landlord. Instead, focus on what you can do now and the future.

The most important thing is to avoid giving up hope. Your family is going through a difficult time right now, but it's not the end of your world.

It's important that you don't blame yourself or the landlord either! It may be tempting to think that if only I had been more responsible or if only they had been more understanding, then we wouldn't be in such a tough situation right now. But this attitude will destroy your ability to see what actually happened and move forward with a better strategy for keeping your family together and ensuring their safety moving forward in life

It's hard, but there are people and resources that can help you get through it.

It's not an easy situation, but you're not alone. There are people who can help you. If you're having trouble or need emotional support, reach out to your local Child Protective Services office or call 1-800-995-5254 (TTY: 1-800-232-7881).